Friday, September 30, 2016

Free Book and Love Advice. Here. Keep Reading!


Here Hurry. Hurry. Last day. 

And here, there is more about Fern and me, very little. But the writer nailed Detective Flynn. Oh, what a hunk of man!!!!!

Always be prepared with gold and glitter you can't go wrong. 
Oh, I so want Kathryn to marry him. I'm tempted to line up a judge, club the detective over the head, and get them married off before he comes to his senses. 

Not that she's not worth marrying, goodness, she's a peach!!! A Georgia peach, not those from the grocery store in June or October. A real live juice-running-down-your-chin Georgia peach. But sometimes when there are broken hearts and "complications" involved these young people just don't seize the day. 

When Bobbykins pops the questions I have my wedding kit ready to go. I can throw a fabulous party, and be the most stunning bride in less than a week. Preparation is important, all you single ladies, don't let him think too long or too hard about anything but you. Got it? What was I talking about? Mercy. Well, it'll come to me later I'm sure. Tata, Loves! 

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Well, This is Awkward

One of the writers has been "tweeting". I'm not sure exactly what that is other than she says stuff and people read it and like it or something. I don't get this technology thing. Back when I was younger you had a television. Or a radio. You pushed a button and had a dial. And what you got was what you got. The phones were dials, too. And you either got a busy signal or ring. Then things got fancy with princess phones in glorious pastels. You could push buttons on those pretty little things. But you still got rings or busy signals.

After that I got lost.

We have a computer. I can send emails. And that's good enough for me. I do like to look over Fern's shoulder when she's on that Facestalker thing she does. (She gets so mad!) Kathryn posts lots of fun things, I love her Mr. Wright pictures. He's a snuggly cute little wuggins of fluff! And she'll post hilarious comments sometimes. Fern really gets angry then when I hoot in her ear. I kind of like pushing Fern's buttons, but don't tell her that!

Anyhow. Yesterday the writer said that someone "retooted" a "post" she was mentioned in. And she "clicked" on it to see who it was so she could thank them or "follow" them. Turns out this woman had "28k" followers. That was cool she said. But then she read the "bio" and this person promotes erotica.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I sure hope no one thinks our story is trashy! Oh my! I mean, I'm a red hot woman, but not that red hot!!!!

But all publicity is good? Right?

Monday, September 26, 2016

Party! Party! Party!

The writers had a party! 

They served mocktails and little bites of deliciousness!!!! And the food items were my recipes. (Well, apparently one had to be tweaked a bit! But that's because they don't have my awesome bundt pan!) 

The writers held this party in a cute book shop in Minneapolis, and the shop was set up for partying like nobody's business. The store name is adorable...wait for it....ONCE UPON A CRIME!!! Isn't that CUTE???

When the writers walked in it looked like a book store full of racks and shelves of books. They had a moment where they wondered where would they put the bodacious spread they had prepared from MY RECIPES!?!?! And the mocktail table? And the book signing table? 

Oh those clever book store people! Racks on wheels. They just swooped in and turned the whole room into a book-lined PARTY ROOM!!!!! The writers even shared the Paradise Paragraphs newsletter with the CROWD. It was a huge CROWD. Here are some pictures. 

I'm going to be putting wheels on all my living and dining room furniture. Fern will be helping. Or maybe if I offer Salmon Roberto and Spicy Dicey Onion Rings Bobby-Boo will help. Darn. I may have to see if I can't rope in Detective Flynn. He's got a nice strong back and I am his favorite senior citizen of all time. 

But I just LOVE the wheeling idea. I could redecorate weekly. We can have dance parties after dinner. It's brilliant! BRILLIANT!  Oh, and here's another interview. I'm not sure I like what was said about me, but speaking of favorite senior citizens I think I loved that part. 

Friday, September 23, 2016

Come See Me

Tomorrow: Come taste my recipes!!!! Saturday, September 24th, y'all are invited to the book launch of Out of the Frying Pan. Join Michelle Griep and co-author, Krazy Kelly Klepfer, for a night of mystery and mocktails at the Once Upon a Crime bookstore in Minneapolis at 6:30 p.m. 604 West 26th Street, Minneapolis, MN 55405

And the other writer shares her doggie story. But don't read the answer to the question about her writing her dog into stories. Rotten answer. I covered Fifi's eyes and had to sing to her for an hour before she calmed down!!!

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Where We Have Been

The writers are promoting us all over the intra-inter-whatever-net. I've decided to share the most interesting ones here. So you can go if you'd like. If you haven't read them yet, or maybe if you'd like to reread them. Because these are really kinda all about me (and Fern, of course.) 


About us #1 

About us #2 

And where are we going???? Oh my. My writers are doing a book signing and they are using my recipes again!!! Different ones. Five recipes!!!! So EXCITED!!!!!!!

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Win a Book. Win a Book. No Really. Win a Book!

"The party's over, hmmm, hmmm, mumble, la,la, la....."

Yes. The winners of our story are Martha Peace and Lora Young. They hopefully are being notified by one of the writers. But their names are nice. Fern would love Martha Peace. She asks for peace almost every morning. Fern is very sensitive until after a good cup of coffee or tea. Very, very cranky

But there will be no peace until another book has been won! The party is not over after all. It has just migrated to another location! Sign up, people! It's another chance. 

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Out of the Frying Pan by Michelle Griep

Out of the Frying Pan

by Michelle Griep

Giveaway ends September 30, 2016.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.
Enter Giveaway

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Out of the Frying Pan Starring.....

Not as happy as yesterday's Recipe LOVE the writers shared. 

Because today's interview isn't quite so much about Fern and me. But we are pretty happy with the idea that our story could hit the big screen!!!

Imagine, our sleuthing skills, my cooking skills, MY SENSE OF FASHION and FLAIR and our HUGE WIN in capturing a murderer! For all the world to see. 

And I have to admit other than the beige the woman wears far too often, I'm pretty happy with the choice in actresses to play me. She can be kind of high strung though. I don't know if she could pull off my subtleties. The more I think about it, she really dresses pretty low-key. There would have to be some serious color and patterns and glitter. I would need to bedazzle her! I'll insist on being the one choosing the wardrobe that's for certain. Insist! 

Here's the link to that fun DREAM! 

Monday, September 19, 2016


I just can NOT contain my excitement!

My recipes are here
at this blog. MY RECIPES!!!! TWO OF THEM. 

Florida Sunrise Morning Muffins and Florida Sunshine Crunch Bars. 

Yes. That's right! Both recipes right here on the Whole World Web!!!!! 

I haven't felt this excited since I came to after the incident! Well. To be honest I was terrorized at that moment, but I got real excited when we were the ones who helped capture the assailant. 

So quit reading this and click on that blue line up there and you can go SEE MY RECIPES!!! Go. Now. Do it!!!!!!!

Friday, September 16, 2016

And There They Go Again....

The writers are all over the place again. Like weasels released from a sack. Three locations today. Not a single one of these articles or posts talks about our heroic murderer-defying, life-risking, epic village-saving event. 

However, one does mention my backstory a maybe check that out. And I kinda wish I could get ahold of some of the candles she talks about getting rid of. If any of you decide to declutter any floral arrangements LET ME KNOW! 

But the rest....meh...go read all about them. We're fine. We'll be right here when you come back. I'm currently sewing a mermaid tail for Fifi. She will be so, so cute!!!! 

And speaking of cute. Look at these little babies holding our book!!!!!!

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Sweet Mercy

Those writers are high maintenance. 

I told Fern we'd only post once a week. And I think I've been here every day. I have little callouses on the tips of my fingers and I think I've pulled a muscle in my neck!!!! I'm certain of it. Either that or Fifi slept pushed up against my face again. That's possible. I dreamt of being buried alive in a portable toilet. (Fifi has some digestive issues and she ate a little too much grass on our after dinner walk.) It happens. 

So that mystery is solved. Ha.Ha! Oh, and we solved ours, too. Just in case you didn't know that Fern and I pretty much single-handedly took down some serious baddies! (I was even injured...but I can't share more.)

Anyhoo, the writers are at the following blogs today. Promoting our story. However, they never really do us justice! 

Jodie Wolfe interviews Kelly Klepfer about her writing life. Kelly stinks at spelling. I learned that. 

Tootle on over to Whispers in Purple where Michelle Griep shares some such about co-writing. 

Now. I'm going to go ice my fingers around a tall glass of home made lemonade! 

And if you haven't signed up to win a are missing out. Do that. K? 

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Turn It Up, Fern.

Fern is in a rut.

There! I've said it. And not for the first time. But this the first time on the whole wide web. I'll even say it again! Fern is in a RUT!

I've been trying to convince her to bring back aerobics Richard Simmons style. Our generation knows how to Sweat to the Oldies. But she is insistent that simple yoga moves and pilates and tai chi are good for our cores and our strength. To her credit she plays tennis. And as adorable as some of those cute little sweater/skirt/headband combos are I'm just not going to attempt to whack a tiny, yellow, fuzzy ball with a flat colander on a stick. If I connected with the ball I'd lose a fingernail for sure. And if I missed I'd have to bend over to pick up the ball and in my choice of tennis wear that would NOT be a good idea.  

When we have asked Fern for aerobic exercise to get the ol hearts a pumpin she just pushes us to move at a faster slow pace so we don't lose the benefit of the moves. Kind of like race walking. Who walks like that if they aren't rushing to the bathroom? Right?!? And if that's exercise I'm pretty sure I just don't want anything to do with it. Can you imagine the swishing sounds from a nylon workout suit? Annoying. Plus how could a hunky man take me seriously when I'm looking like an overactive bladder commercial? 

So then I see there's this whole new trend. Dance moves like the pop stars to their music. Sounds a little like "Sweatin to the Oldies" has a new life, doesn't it, Fern. Like aerobics aren't dead, just pumped up a bit. And then I saw another thing called bungee dancing. Now this is something I could do without hurting myself. And I think I still have a couple off the shoulder Flashdance sweatshirts from the 80's hanging around. Oh, Fern, I think you'd even have fun. Look at them, Fern. Just look at them!

Oh, and don't forget to try to win a copy of our book. Trust me. You want to read all about our heart pounding few weeks in Paradise! 

Monday, September 12, 2016

Mondays - Something to Sing About

"Monday, Monday!" humming now. "Monday! Monday! hum, humming." 

Zula here, like you can't tell the difference between Fern and me at this point. Ha.Ha.Ha. Fern's posts will probably start with a bulleted list or just a random fact. But me...Oh, I just love to sing. La, la, la, LA!

Fifi loves to join me. I think her coming to live with us has added years to her little doggie life. She just preens when I dress her up and coos when I scratch her belly. Her former daddy had been slipping downhill for quite awhile so she was just starved for love!

We had a quiet weekend in Paradise. I taught a class on banana breads. Would you like the recipe? It's a doozie. I started using coconut oil because of Fern...and ground flaxseed replacing eggs because of Fern. I prefer using both of these ingredients for the extra ummmph but lets not tell her that, okay? 

Oh. And one of the creators was busy promoting our book on blogs this weekend. Here. You should probably go check them out because honestly these girls think they have some sort of writerly wisdom to share. 

Best Ever Banana Bread 

1/2 Cup coconut oil
1 Cup sugar
1 TBSP ground flaxseed
2 TBSPs non-dairy milk
2 ripe bananas
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/4 Cup flour (I used whole wheat pastry) 

Preheat oven to 350. Grease bread pan, mini muffin pan or small loaf pans.

Melt the coconut oil and defrost* bananas (if using frozen ones) in preheating oven in medium glass or stainless steel bowl. Prepare the milk and flaxseed in small bowl. When the coconut oil is melted and bananas squishable remove from oven and add the sugar and mix well. Then add the cinnamon, salt and baking powder and stir until combined. Pour in the  vanilla and give it a couple more hearty stirs. 

If you want mix-ins add them now (chocolate chips, chopped nuts, dried fruit.) 

This will make one full loaf, 4 mini loaves or about 60 mini muffins. You will bake the mini loaves for about 40-45 minutes, the mini muffins for about 13-15 and the full sized loaf about 50-60.

Crumb Topping
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
3 tablespoons coconut oil, melted
1 teaspoon cinnamon (optional)
pulverized nuts (1/4 Cup or so) (optional)

Mix flour, sugar (and cinnamon and/or nuts) well, cut in the coconut oil with a fork, two knives a pastry blender. Sprinkle this over the top of the unbaked bread, muffins etc. 

Or Cream Cheese Frosting!!!

1/2 package cream cheese
2 Cups powdered sugar
1 TBSP liquid (such as milk, orange juice or coffee) drizzled in 1 teaspoon at a time to get the perfect consistency.  

Mix the cream cheese with the powdered sugar until you get a big blob then slowly add the liquid and mix until you hit your preferred consistency. 

* in case you don't do this. When bananas get too ripe, peel them and place them in a designated zipper bag or container in the freezer. Then use them for such a time as this. Peeling is important unless you want to dig banana membrane off a frozen banana later. Gross! Who wants that mush under their freshly manicured Sizzling Hot Pepper fingernails? 

Friday, September 9, 2016

Two More About Us But Not At All About Us!

So the writers are on blogs again.

I don't know how I feel about this. They barely mention us and I thought this blog tour was about our story. 

Honestly, they mention the story, and even Fifi gets a little airtime. But nothing about how we saved Paradise. Nothing about how one of us nearly lost her life during our confrontation with evil. 

But I'll put it out there anyway. And I suppose you should go visit the sites. If nothing else it might be worth visualizing the belly dance. And like I said, Fifi gets mentioned.  Tootles and have a good weekend. 

Thursday, September 8, 2016

We Must Introduce Kathryn...

News from our nest! 
Zula: Our darling niece, Kathryn, is the sweetest thing. Just the sweetest, which is why we've been on a mission to help her find "the" man. And boy did we ever....Score!!!!! 

Fern: Zula. Too soon. 
Kathryn, how are things back in Kansas City, dear? Did that awful Brian finally give up? 

Kathryn: Hi Aunties. How are you? Are you over your traumatic adventure? Holy Moly I was worried about you. For the record, Brian is still trying but that ship has, that ship has sunk.

Zula: Have you picked out colors, Honey? 
Fern: Zula, stop it. Stop pushing. 
Zula: I need the time to make the bouquets perfect. She'll have a tight budget, there is a sale next week at the five and ten.

Kathryn: Aunties. You'll have plenty of time. No worries. Have you been keeping out of trouble? Please tell me you have. 

Zula: There's a new snake in town, I believe. A Marco has joined us, he feels a little like a fake. 
Fern: You just don't like him because he's a great cook.
Zula: That is so not it. I think he's trying to figure out some of my secrets. Have you seen him analyze my food? 

Kathryn: But no more crime or anything? And you aren't looking for trouble, right? 

Zula: Well! I think it's high crime indeed if Marco steals my secrets!!!! I intend to ask Detective Flynn to do some sort of background check. He should be able to I would think. 

Kathryn: No, please, Aunt Zula. Don't involve Jared. He's busy enough. 

Fern: That's right. We need to let him alone. Long distance relationships are hard enough, Zula. We don't want him wasting time on this when he could be face talking with Kathryn, do we?

Zula: Sigh. Okay. But maybe I can dig up a little dirt on my own then. 

Kathryn: Aunt Zula. You need to stop right now. Remember what happened last time you stuck your nose where it shouldn't have gone? 

Zula: Oh, okay. Wait. I have to let you go. Marco's walking into the recreation center. Tata, Love.

Kathryn: Aunt Zula? Auntie? 
Fern: The train has left the station, Dear. I'll go see if I can catch it. 

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Detective Jared Flynn, Everyone Say Hi!!!!

Detective Flynn. Oh, that name, so powerful. Oh that young man, so handsome, so strong. 

I just can't wait to introduce him. I'll try. Detective Flynn knows how to rescue a lady in distress. I can't even tell you how he literally risked death to save love. That sounds real dramatic, and I'm sorry for that, but it's just all so fresh, and so much like a fairy tale that I'm all atwitter. I want to use some of Fern's ten dollar words but I can't think of any. I wish I was back in the day when ladies could faint on those little couches when they became over excited. But this desk chair would completely wreck my back and I'm afraid I'd snag my new chiffon exploded rainbow blouse (so cute, I had to have it!). 

So I will not swoon. 

Zula: Detective, what brought you to us? 

Jared Flynn: A phone call, literally, but I'm guessing you want something more or you'll fill in between the lines yourself. I used to work in Miami and frankly I had to leave big city crime. There was never a break from the bad news. I wanted somewhere a little easier to breath, and then I met you. 

Zula: Ha.Ha.Ha. Detective. You are so funny and charming. And strong. I don't know that I've ever enjoyed clinging to an arm more than yours. What has been the biggest reward of this case for you? 

Jared Flynn: Well, Mrs. Hopkins, the biggest reward might be the ten pounds I've gained since I met you. Or I imagine you are wanting me to mention that the case was solved with your and Miss Fern's help and how you introduced me to someone special. Would that be the right answer? 

Zula: Yes! Yes! Yes! Can you tell our readers how Fern and I helped? 

Jared Flynn: I don't know if help is the best word. I think meddling, endangering self and others and impeding an investigation might be more accurate. However, you did get so involved that it flushed the killer out, so there's that.

Zula: What advice can you give for solving crime as an upstanding citizen.

Jared Flynn: Dial 9-1-1 if it appears that there is truly an emergency. Practice being a good neighbor if it's a dispute over whether he/she should grow the same kind of roses you are. 

Zula: Oh, Detective we are out of time and I want to go off record and ask you a few questions anyhoo...

Jared Flynn: Thank you. And I've got to go Mrs. Hopkins, I've got a call coming in on another line. Bye. 

Zula: Auntie Zula, Dear, Auntie Zula! Buh Bye, Dear boy. Readers. There will be more soon. 


Editorial comments: 

Fern: Zula, stop embarrassing that fine young man. It's inappropriate to talk about his muscles. Not okay. 

Zula: pffffttttt.


Monday, September 5, 2016

Meet Fern

  • Hello. I'm Fern. 
Zula insisted that I introduce myself and share a little about my life. 

The introduction is behind us. Now for the about me. 

I am a widowed former art teacher. 

I prefer quiet mornings, good coffee and simplicity. 

But I share a home with Zula. 

I do manage to pull off good coffee. 

Teaching is in my blood so I do teach Pilates/yoga and art classes in my retirement village. 

I think this is sufficient. 

Zula will no doubt have a rebuttal. 

Zula here, taking her editing of the blog very seriously. Yawn, Fern, could you have made this any more boring? Are any of you awake? Because I am about to drop off into my bowl of homestyled crunchy granola oatmeal with maple banana drizzle.

Fern does have a personality, I promise you. 

She can be a little ball of lightning. Have you heard of this phenomena? My great aunt once experienced it.  A fireball of lightning came in one door, rolled across the floor, under the kitchen table mind you, and exited through the open back hallway. She was grateful there wasn't air conditioning at the time or she would have lost a door! 

Anyhoo, that's Fern. A tiny little feisty package that can surprise the socks right off of you. Hopefully, you will see this sometime.  I also have no idea why she posted a picture of jellyfish. None. But they are kind of sparkly so I left it alone. 

Tata...til next time, Darlings!

Friday, September 2, 2016

Blather I Say

One of our authors tells a little bit about our story here today. She neglected to mention my skill with cooking or decorating and Fern's art. As a matter of fact we are hardly mentioned. Rather she droned on and on about herself. Some people. It's our story after all.