Fern is in a rut.
There! I've said it. And not for the first time. But this the first time on the whole wide web. I'll even say it again! Fern is in a RUT!
I've been trying to convince her to bring back aerobics Richard Simmons style. Our generation knows how to Sweat to the Oldies. But she is insistent that simple yoga moves and pilates and tai chi are good for our cores and our strength. To her credit she plays tennis. And as adorable as some of those cute little sweater/skirt/headband combos are I'm just not going to attempt to whack a tiny, yellow, fuzzy ball with a flat colander on a stick. If I connected with the ball I'd lose a fingernail for sure. And if I missed I'd have to bend over to pick up the ball and in my choice of tennis wear that would NOT be a good idea.
When we have asked Fern for aerobic exercise to get the ol hearts a pumpin she just pushes us to move at a faster slow pace so we don't lose the benefit of the moves. Kind of like race walking. Who walks like that if they aren't rushing to the bathroom? Right?!? And if that's exercise I'm pretty sure I just don't want anything to do with it. Can you imagine the swishing sounds from a nylon workout suit? Annoying. Plus how could a hunky man take me seriously when I'm looking like an overactive bladder commercial?
So then I see there's this whole new trend. Dance moves like the pop stars to their music. Sounds a little like "Sweatin to the Oldies" has a new life, doesn't it, Fern. Like aerobics aren't dead, just pumped up a bit. And then I saw another thing called bungee dancing. Now this is something I could do without hurting myself. And I think I still have a couple off the shoulder Flashdance sweatshirts from the 80's hanging around. Oh, Fern, I think you'd even have fun. Look at them, Fern. Just look at them!
Oh, and don't forget to try to win a copy of our book. Trust me. You want to read all about our heart pounding few weeks in Paradise!