Balls of JOY and FLOWERS!

Whoooeeee. You'd think that Fern was the cook and dessert diva in these parts right about now. Not true in any sense of ANY of those words. I just happen to be decollate deep in flowers right now. Oh, what a problem to have!

Not real flowers. Silk bouquets. There is a craft sale of all craft sales down the road a bit in three weeks and I have been finding treasures to turn into display pieces. Oh, if only you could see them.

Anyway. Fern has been cooking for both of us while I slave away and burn off my fingerprints with the glue gun. Did you know that if you burn your skin enough times that can happen? Wait. Apparently that's not true. Fern just googled it. Sigh. But it seems like it would be permanent, but any aspiring criminals need to know that they grow back in the same pattern. Turn back, repent of your plans.

Fern made dessert last night. She's on a super health kick. No added sugar. Only naturally occurring sugar. Like frozen bananas whirred into ice cream. That's real. And tasty. I did add a spoonful of peanut butter to mine, and maybe a handful of chocolate chips. Delicious. I may add that to my recipe repertoire.

She "couldn't" give me an actual recipe for her Almond Joy Bites. I watched her and it appeared that she used about even amounts (approx 1 cup each) of almonds and pitted dates, about a 1/2 cup of toasted coconut and 1/3 cup of cocoa nibs (these are totally unsweetened cocoa bits but taste completely like bitter chocolate. They are pricey so you could use chocolate chips and get away with it, but do NOT say this to her, she will give you the stinko face.) She then whipped those ingredients together in her food processor until uniform and mixed. Squeeze a bit between your fingers and try to form a ball or bar shape. If too sticky she said to add more nuts, a handful, if too prone to fall apart 3-4 dates. They should stay together and form tight little nuggets of deliciousness. And they are delicious!!!!

Gotta go take care of my flowers. I hear them screaming for my attention. "Zula! Zula!" 

And don't forget Fern's Portrait! (the ongoing story saga...dnh, duduh, dnh (dramatic music!) 

Ta! Loves, TA! 

Free Book and Minestroneyumm Soup

This just in! A copy of our story is being given away! Go here http://bit.ly/2nBaveJ ! 

Now here we go! To the other good stuff! I'm the best at scratch cooking. Not tooting my own horn, I'm just stating the facts. One day I might have to share testimonials to this fact. I have a notebook full of statements, comments and a blue ribbon from every state fair I've ever entered! 

But being a good cook means choosing your battles. I have to decide if I want to spend my time and energy on creativity or chopping things. Now. I love the feeling of chopping. It's a very satisfying stress reliever (especially with Fern around...I do so much chopping therapy) and the released scents can be just heavenly. But I will use a food processor like nobody's business if one will be a useful tool and free me up to be creative! 

That said I am not opposed to dump and go type meals. Soups are one of these. 


Today I share my minestrone style soup. Using fresh, frozen or canned ingredients you can make a restaurant quality soup. Delicious!

To cut down on sodium use home prepped dry beans, a homemade pesto and frozen or fresh veggies.

1 can of kidney beans (approx 15 ounce) (dump the juices down the sink, rinse and drain) 
1 can of white or great northern beans (approx 15 ounce) (dump the juice down the sink, rinse and drain) (use your own home canned beans 1 and 3/4 cups if you like) 
2 cans of diced tomatoes with garlic, basil and oregano (approx 15 ounce each) (you could substitute chunky spaghetti sauce here.) (Or chopped fresh or canned tomatoes and add dried Italian spice (about a TBSP) and 2 - 3 cloves minced garlic)
Veggie broth (or chicken) (approx 4-5 cups) 
1 Cup of pesto sauce (you can use one that you've created, your favorite recipe, or store bought) 
1 Can of chopped spinach or 1 1/2 cups chopped frozen or fresh. 
1 Can (13-16 ounce) vegetable of choice. I used asparagus for kicks. I think I will use artichoke hearts in the future or green beans.
1 Cup pasta of choice. 
A Handful of quinoa Rinse it first if it's not prewashed. The package will say so.  

Put everything but the pasta in a crock or soup pot and stir well. Simmer for 4-6 hours. Add the dry pasta an hour before serving. Stir well and continue simmering.  

Just Getting Right To It. Applesauce Cake by Fern

Zula makes an applesauce cake that needed just a bit of tweaking to make it healthier. So here it is. Fernified. 

2 Cups flour
1 Cup oatmeal
1/2 tsp salt
2 teaspoons cinnamon
2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 Cup sugar
2/3 Cup melted coconut oil
2 eggs or 2 Fern eggs (2 TBSP ground flax combined with 6 TBSP milk = 2 eggs)
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 1/2 Cups applesauce
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 Cup chopped walnuts or pecans. 

Preheat the oven to 350. Grease a pan or pans.

Mix the dry ingredients in a bowl including nuts. Make the Fern eggs in a medium bowl, add the remainder of the wet ingredients. If the coconut oil hardens because of the milk just stick the bowl in the preheating oven for a minute or zap in the microwave for a few seconds. Pour the dry into the wet or wet into the dry and stir just until combined. Pour into two greased cake pans or a greased 9 x 13. Bake approximately 20 minutes. Test for doneness with a knife. There should be moist crumbs. Remove from oven. You could probably make this a bundt cake and bake for 35 minutes. That's according to Zula. 

In a small bowl mix applesauce and powdered sugar until you get a glaze the consistency of what you want. Approximately 1 cup sugar to 1/4 cup applesauce.  Add a dash of cinnamon if you desire. Drizzle the glaze over the cooled cake. 

What I changed: decreased oil and sugar amounts, omegas and fiber with the flaxseed. 

Okay, Zula. I'm done posting for the month.  

Zula's Siren Cinnamon Muffins

I let someone else do the typing! I just got my nails done. And I'm not feelin' the need to click, click, click. So I just copied and pasted. Win! Win! I gave the recipe to the author. So I appreciate that she included my ownership! WIN! That's Win! Win! Win! for the Win!

You will love these. I promise.

Zula’s Siren Cinnamon Muffins

By Michelle Griep

I love to cook, so getting into character for my latest co-authored release, Out of the Frying Pan, was particularly fun.

Main character Zula Hopkins is renowned for her sweet culinary skills at the Sunset Paradise Retirement Community. These muffins are her go-to recipe for attracting male suitors—and it’s the first thing she whips up to garner the attention of Detective Jared Flynn for her niece KC. Here’s the recipe . . .

Siren Cinnamon Muffins

2 cups flour

¾ cup sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

pinch of salt

¾ cup buttermilk

¼ cup melted butter

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 large egg

8 ounces sour cream

2/3 cup cinnamon chips

Streusel: 1 package instant cinnamon oatmeal

1. Preheat oven to 375 and grease your muffin tins.
2. Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, soda, and salt in a bowl. Make a well in center of mixture.
3. Dump the rest of the ingredients (except for the instant oatmeal) into the well and stir until mixed. The batter will be rather thick.
4. Fill muffin tins 2/3 full then sprinkle the instant oatmeal over the top.
5. Bake at 375 for 18 minutes.

I’m not going to lie. These bad boys are slightly addicting. This recipe makes about 15 muffins so you’ll probably want to double it because they are some kind of good!

Here’s some food for your soul as well . . . One of my favorite Bible verses is Nahum 1:7.

“The Lord is good. A stronghold in the day of trouble. And He knows those who trust in Him.”

Muffins and God’s Word . . . it doesn’t get much better than that.

ABOUT THE BOOK ~ OUT OF THE FRYING PAN

Murder in Paradise whips life into a froth for FERN and ZULA HOPKINS. When the retirement center’s chef is found dead, the two ladies get folded in with the case. Their zany attempts to track down the killer land them in hot water with Detective JARED FLYNN. Should he be concerned about their safety—or the criminal’s?

But there are deadly ingredients none of them expect. Drugs. Extortion. International cartels. And worst of all…broken hearts, especially when the Hopkins sisters’ niece KC arrives on the scene.

Life at Sunset Paradise Retirement Village will never be the same.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR ~ MICHELLE GRIEP

Michelle Griep’s been writing since she first discovered blank wall space and Crayolas. She resides in the frozen tundra of Minnesota, where she teaches history and writing classes for a local high school co-op. Her latest release is OUT OF THE FRYING PAN, but historical romance is her usual haunt. THE CAPTIVE HEART releases in October. Follow her escapades at www.michellegriep.com or www.writerofftheleash.blogspot.com or stalk her on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest.

Bananas, Bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Just in case you haven't made this cake. And you've got bananas just crying out to be saved from their frozen brown sticky state or limp, lackluster existence on your counter, you really must make this cake. If you are out of bananas or a banana hater you can use pumpkin. 

I made it again the other day and not one crumb remained. And this little moist beauty sat right next to one of June Findlay's peach pies. The cake went first. I need a blue ribbon, please. Is that the highest award? Why do I think purple is better? Is it? Then I need a purple ribbon. No. Let's just make that a rainbow of ribbons. This cake deserves a rainbow. 

Fern was all atwitter because I made it her way again with the flaxseed and such. 

(Speaking of Fern. I'm not supposed to mention this. I was actually forcefully FORBIDDEN! But I don't expect her to read this. She mentioned my comments were drivel one day when talking about the Paradise Paragraphs newsletter I edit. 

Well, drivel this, Dearest! 

Anyhoo...she's going on date number 2 tomorrow. Hmmmm maybe I should start concocting wedding canapés. I could do it right under her nose since we are hoping that Kathryn and the detective start humming "Here Comes the Bride!" Ooooh! That gives me an idea!) 

DON'T FORGET THE AUTHOR GIVEAWAY!!!!!!! 1 WEEK LEFT! 

Banana Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting

Makes one deep sheet cake. Or a shallow sheet cake and 8 x 11 if you want a thinner cake and more of it. Or a 9 x 13 plus an 8 x 8.  Or good grief, cupcakes. About 40 of them. Heat your oven to 350.  Grease and flour a jelly roll pan. Or pans. Or fill your muffin tins with paper liners.

Cake

¾ Cup coconut oil (You may use butter if y’all think that’s better. I will say Fern's suggestion of coconut oil did add a different and tasty spin on this cake.)

3 Cups flour or whole wheat pastry flour

1 Cup water

½ Cup milk (¼ cup if using eggs instead of ground flaxseed)

2 TBSP ground flax seed (or 2 eggs and decrease milk amount as noted above)

2 Cups sugar

1 teaspoon slightly mounded baking soda

1 ½ teaspoons vanilla

1 ½ Cup or 4 ripe mashed bananas (or 1 1/2 Cup pumpkin puree)

Pinch of salt

1 teaspoon cinnamon

Optional but recommended: 1-2 Cups chopped pecans or walnuts

Place the water, coconut oil (or butter) and milk into a saucepan. Bring to boil then remove from heat.

Place every other ingredient into a large mixing bowl where you have smashed the bananas. Pour the hot liquid over the other ingredients and mix very well.

Pour and spread into the prepared pan(s). Test the cake at 20 minutes. A toothpick or knife should come out clean or with wet crumbs. If wet give it an additional 5 minutes and test again. And repeat.

Frosting

½ package cream cheese (4 ounces)

4 Cups powdered sugar

dash of vanilla

1-2 TBSP milk, added 1 TBSP at a time.

Mix it to the consistency you want. I made mine pretty thick.

Spread over the cooled cake. Serves at least 20 people.

Banana Cake A Cure for the Boos...

The writers have another busy month in November. Which means I'll probably be required to post a few extra times. Today is Halloween. We don't get many trick or treaters anymore. All those Trunk or Treat and the malls are all the rage now. Some of those costumes are scary! Have you seen some of them? And people buy them for little kids. Sweet mercy. I can't imagine the sugar overload and the terror filled nightmares. 

I would share my famous candy bar cookies today. But that would be too predictable for Halloween. 

I will share this recipe though. 

Also a hint. Did you know that if you peel old bananas and toss them into a plastic bag in your freezer you have a much easier time of getting the banana where you want it to go rather than all over you. I'm shocked at how many home chefs just shove whole bananas in the freezer. Ugh. Then you have the slime, the black and greasy peel and the strings. Oh, that's almost enough to give me a nightmare! Trust me. Peel the banana first and toss it into a gallon sized banana bag. You'll thank me. You know you will! 

Banana Cake  (Slightly healthified by Fern but with non-hippie options still available for those of you who wouldn't know flax from a flea.)

Makes one sheet cake.  Heat your oven to 350.  Grease and flour a jelly roll pan.

Cake

¾ Cup coconut oil (You may use butter if y’all think that’s better. I will say Fern's suggestion of coconut oil did add a different and tasty spin on this cake. Trust me she tells everyone that she converted me. Yeah, whatever, Fern, whatever.)

3 Cups whole wheat pastry flour (whole wheat flour that is decimated into a much finer flour. Whole wheat traditional would give you much denser result. All purpose would work as well. Or give old fashioned oats whirled into flour a try. Fern fix. She just has to meddle in everything, I swear.)

1 Cup water

½ Cup milk (¼ cup if using eggs instead of ground flaxseed)

2 TBSP ground flax seed (or 2 eggs and decrease milk amount as noted above)

2 Cups sugar

1 teaspoon slightly mounded baking soda

1 ½ teaspoons vanilla

1 ½ Cup or 4 ripe mashed bananas

Pinch of salt

Optional but highly recommended!!!:

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1-2 Cups chopped pecans or walnuts

Place the water, coconut oil (or butter) and milk into a saucepan. Bring to boil then remove from heat.

Place every other ingredient into a large mixing bowl where you have smashed the bananas. Pour the hot liquid over the other ingredients and mix very well.

Pour and spread into the prepared pan. Test the cake at 20 minutes. A toothpick or knife should come out clean or with wet crumbs.

Frosting

½ package cream cheese (4 ounces)

4 Cups powdered sugar

dash of vanilla

1-2 TBSP milk, added 1 TBSP at a time.

Mix it to the consistency you want. I made mine pretty thick.

Spread over the cooled cake. Serves at least 20 people.

I hope you survive Halloween. Watch out for clowns. Fern and I are staying in tonight for sure. I'm still healing and just can't abide by a scare. Mabel said she she saw a clown in the wooded area by the parking lot. Sweet mercy. I'm hoping it was Ralph who actually is a clown and that he'd just come from a birthday party. Ralph is a little strange though. Oh goodness. I've gotta go, I need to lock my doors!

My RECIPES!!!!

I just can NOT contain my excitement!

My recipes are here http://stitchesthrutime.blogspot.com/2016/09/yum-art-and-science-of-page-turning.html
at this blog. MY RECIPES!!!! TWO OF THEM. 

Florida Sunrise Morning Muffins and Florida Sunshine Crunch Bars. 

Yes. That's right! Both recipes right here on the Whole World Web!!!!! 

I haven't felt this excited since I came to after the incident! Well. To be honest I was terrorized at that moment, but I got real excited when we were the ones who helped capture the assailant. 

So quit reading this and click on that blue line up there and you can go SEE MY RECIPES!!! Go. Now. Do it!!!!!!!

Mondays - Something to Sing About

"Monday, Monday!" humming now. "Monday! Monday! hum, humming." 

Zula here, like you can't tell the difference between Fern and me at this point. Ha.Ha.Ha. Fern's posts will probably start with a bulleted list or just a random fact. But me...Oh, I just love to sing. La, la, la, LA!

Fifi loves to join me. I think her coming to live with us has added years to her little doggie life. She just preens when I dress her up and coos when I scratch her belly. Her former daddy had been slipping downhill for quite awhile so she was just starved for love!

We had a quiet weekend in Paradise. I taught a class on banana breads. Would you like the recipe? It's a doozie. I started using coconut oil because of Fern...and ground flaxseed replacing eggs because of Fern. I prefer using both of these ingredients for the extra ummmph but lets not tell her that, okay? 

Oh. And one of the creators was busy promoting our book on blogs this weekend. Here. You should probably go check them out because honestly these girls think they have some sort of writerly wisdom to share. 

Best Ever Banana Bread 

1/2 Cup coconut oil

1 Cup sugar

1 TBSP ground flaxseed

2 TBSPs non-dairy milk

2 ripe bananas

3/4 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1 1/4 Cup flour (I used whole wheat pastry) 

Preheat oven to 350. Grease bread pan, mini muffin pan or small loaf pans.

Melt the coconut oil and defrost* bananas (if using frozen ones) in preheating oven in medium glass or stainless steel bowl. Prepare the milk and flaxseed in small bowl. When the coconut oil is melted and bananas squishable remove from oven and add the sugar and mix well. Then add the cinnamon, salt and baking powder and stir until combined. Pour in the  vanilla and give it a couple more hearty stirs. 

If you want mix-ins add them now (chocolate chips, chopped nuts, dried fruit.) 

This will make one full loaf, 4 mini loaves or about 60 mini muffins. You will bake the mini loaves for about 40-45 minutes, the mini muffins for about 13-15 and the full sized loaf about 50-60.

Crumb Topping

1/2 cup sugar

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

3 tablespoons coconut oil, melted

1 teaspoon cinnamon (optional)

pulverized nuts (1/4 Cup or so) (optional)

Mix flour, sugar (and cinnamon and/or nuts) well, cut in the coconut oil with a fork, two knives a pastry blender. Sprinkle this over the top of the unbaked bread, muffins etc. 

Or Cream Cheese Frosting!!!

1/2 package cream cheese

2 Cups powdered sugar

1 TBSP liquid (such as milk, orange juice or coffee) drizzled in 1 teaspoon at a time to get the perfect consistency.  

Mix the cream cheese with the powdered sugar until you get a big blob then slowly add the liquid and mix until you hit your preferred consistency. 

* in case you don't do this. When bananas get too ripe, peel them and place them in a designated zipper bag or container in the freezer. Then use them for such a time as this. Peeling is important unless you want to dig banana membrane off a frozen banana later. Gross! Who wants that mush under their freshly manicured Sizzling Hot Pepper fingernails?