Nirvana

Nirvana

Monday, May 22, 2017

Tap! Tap! Tap! Enter the Contest! And Make a Treat to Encourage You Do Just That!!!

Don't forget to send your pictures! You know what I'm talking about, right? What? You missed it? Go HERE. Right now!!!! Not even kidding. I'm waiting. Now send those pictures. Facething them. Twirp, tweet or toot them. But just do it! 

Now. Here's a bonus, fun recipe.  So easy!!!!! And tasty!!!! 

1 bag chocolate chips
2 TBSP peanut butter
Melt together. 
Add 4 cups rice krispy cereal. 

Drop and press into greased muffin tins. Sprinkle the top with crushed candy bars or mini m&m's and press with the back of a spoon. Pop into fridge. Makes 18-24. It's like a crackle bar or nestles bar on steroids. (And not the ones to help you breathe or lessen your arthritis pain. Ha. Ha. A little retirement park humor!)


Pop them out when solid. Place in a container. Keep in the fridge so you don't have melty hot messes. Enjoy. 

Monday, May 15, 2017

Announcement, Announcement, Announcement!!!!


Oh, the craft sale was glorious! I sold so many beautiful bouquets. One sweet gal told me that she follows me! That she had been counting down the days to the craft sale so she could restock her arrangements.

Oh my! I had to fan my face for a full 15 minutes after that. Little ol me has a groupie. Or is it a roadie if they travel to get to you? Oh, whatever it is. I'm so thrilled!

Since the shops are still full of Mother's Day goodies (at a discount now!) and since Memorial Day is just around the corner. Anyone can find some great silks at a decent price.

We are going to have a contest. Yes. That's right!!!!!!


A contest showcasing your beautiful bouquet pictures. All you have to do to enter is tweet or FB a photo of a glorious bouquet put together by you or someone else. No matter. Enter as often as you like.


Contest closes on 6-15-17 at midnight. 


Three categories.

Three prizes!!!!!!!!!!

Zula's Favorite - A gift card to Hobby Lobby in the amount of $20.00. (Winner chosen by Zula.)


Fern's Favorite - A gift card to Trader Joe's where you can buy inexpensive and beautiful real flowers. (Winner chosen by Fern.) 


Wild Card - A signed copy of the novel Out of the Frying Pan plus a $10.00 Amazon e-card. (This is a random winner, no floral expertise needed. Enter as often as you like with the same picture using Twitter and sharing on Facebook.)


Two ways to enter.

1)  Post the jpg picture to twitter and copy and paste this:  "Zu-fer bouquet explosion! #contest #giveaway #giftcard #freebook http://bit.ly/2r8dxuY@MichelleGriep and @KellyKlepfer Enter to win!"

2)  Post the jpg picture to Facebook with the following copied and pasted (or link if you prefer once there.): "FernandZula Kelly Klepfer. Zu-fer bouquet explosion. Enter to win. #contest #giveaway. http://bit.ly/2r8dxuY 


Tell me which of the above you did and send your picture to me at kelly.klepfer@gmail.com. You will get an entry to the wild card prize for each time you do the Twitter and Facebook options so tweet every day if you'd like. 







Monday, May 8, 2017

One More Week! Then Bam!

I wish this was how I felt. Tranquilly floating on the water, soaking up sunshine!

But how I really feel is like my hair-rollers-were-wound-too-tight-and-my-shoes-pinch-my-pinkies-and-I'm-wearing-my-most-uncomfortable-intimate-garment crazy. 

I know. I know! I bring this upon myself. No one forced me to sign up for the big craft fair. But I just love crafts so much. And flowers. So I must carry on! 

Next weekend is the big blitz. My Friday and Saturday I'll be making some mad money as those glorious bouquets find a new home. My stuff will be flying off the table. It will be worth it. 

Until next week. I do remind you to check out Fern's ongoing saga here

Monday, May 1, 2017

Balls of JOY and FLOWERS!

Whoooeeee. You'd think that Fern was the cook and dessert diva in these parts right about now. Not true in any sense of ANY of those words. I just happen to be decollate deep in flowers right now. Oh, what a problem to have!

Not real flowers. Silk bouquets. There is a craft sale of all craft sales down the road a bit in three weeks and I have been finding treasures to turn into display pieces. Oh, if only you could see them.

Anyway. Fern has been cooking for both of us while I slave away and burn off my fingerprints with the glue gun. Did you know that if you burn your skin enough times that can happen? Wait. Apparently that's not true. Fern just googled it. Sigh. But it seems like it would be permanent, but any aspiring criminals need to know that they grow back in the same pattern. Turn back, repent of your plans.

Fern made dessert last night. She's on a super health kick. No added sugar. Only naturally occurring sugar. Like frozen bananas whirred into ice cream. That's real. And tasty. I did add a spoonful of peanut butter to mine, and maybe a handful of chocolate chips. Delicious. I may add that to my recipe repertoire.

She "couldn't" give me an actual recipe for her Almond Joy Bites. I watched her and it appeared that she used about even amounts (approx 1 cup each) of almonds and pitted dates, about a 1/2 cup of toasted coconut and 1/3 cup of cocoa nibs (these are totally unsweetened cocoa bits but taste completely like bitter chocolate. They are pricey so you could use chocolate chips and get away with it, but do NOT say this to her, she will give you the stinko face.) She then whipped those ingredients together in her food processor until uniform and mixed. Squeeze a bit between your fingers and try to form a ball or bar shape. If too sticky she said to add more nuts, a handful, if too prone to fall apart 3-4 dates. They should stay together and form tight little nuggets of deliciousness. And they are delicious!!!!

Gotta go take care of my flowers. I hear them screaming for my attention. "Zula! Zula!" 

And don't forget Fern's Portrait! (the ongoing story saga...dnh, duduh, dnh (dramatic music!) 

Ta! Loves, TA! 

Monday, April 24, 2017

Stories from Paradise - Fern's Portrait

http://amzn.to/2ndM0qv
Fern and I are doing a little storytelling for fun. 

Every day we'll load a line into this post and build an ongoing story and we'll uhhh toot? No, twirp...like chirp but it's a bird symbol webbie thing. Anyway. We'll add a bit of the story there at that website thing with the bird and here and people can click on it and come see the whole story as it unfolds here. Does that sound like fun? You know it. So fun! So come back every single day so you can follow the story as it unfolds. 

So first we will start with Fern's story. 

We will call it. 



Fern's Portrait

A fog of Brut announced Delbert's arrival a full minute before Fern heard the scritch-scratch of his shoes sliding across the linoleum. The tension in her shoulders ratcheted righty-tighty. She couldn't stop a sigh. Not that he'd hear it. As bad as that sounded, the thought really wasn't an unkind one about a shuffling elderly man, half deaf because of infirmary. Instead it was just the dad-blamed truth about a man as stubborn and clueless as any could be. And she had a bounty of experience with stubborn and clueless in her 67 years. 

"Ferny. How's it going today?" 

Following a snort-laugh, Delbert's unwelcome words destroyed her peace as she set her paintbrush down on her palette and turned to face him. 

"Great, Delbert. I hope you won't be offended if I continue to work on my project."  

She turned sideways, back to the canvas, hoping and wishing that today he wouldn't take the conversation to the bad place. But he always did.

"Makes no difference to me. I like any view." He hacked and spit into her sink.

She fought a gag.

"So." He chuckled slightly. Here it came. It was coming. 
Maybe she didn't need to hear the words again. With a quick flick of the wrist she tipped her water over and it sloshed onto the linoleum. "Oh, goodness. How clumsy.You better stay back, you don't want to slip."

Welcome silence reigned for a moment while she bent to sop up the liquid, then came the wheezy chortle. "This might be my favorite view."

A small, white-hot flame of indignation burned in her gut as she wiped up the water.
In not wanting to hear his disgusting request, she was subjected again to his disrespect. How did one turn the other cheek in this type of situation? Or was it time to once and for all put the absolute fear of God
     ...to be continued...

Monday, April 17, 2017

This Just In...

Before I reveal whether or not Fern wore the tasteful hat I made for her...before I reveal another annoying thing about that woman! Before I share the weather catastrophe that ruined my outfit...before I share Fern's recipe I want to share this. Our story of murder and mayhem is on sale. Well better than that. It's on sale for free if you have one of those reader devices. Click here to go there. 

That is correct. For two days. It's free. No excuses not to read about how Fern and I helped to save all of Paradise. It's really a big deal. Bad stuff was going down. And with our help Detective Flynn saved the day (and a damsel, but I'm not supposed to talk about the "relationship" anymore, but between you and me, I'm expecting wedding bells. Fern's going to kill me, again.) I'll tell you, though, keeping Paradise safe is worth all the scars I received while nearly laying down my life for my neighbors. 

And. Fern did NOT wear the hat. Did NOT. But even if she had it would have probably not been on for long. 

Go get your free book. (there are others, too. Here's a list.) 
Murder of a Manuscript                                                                                              
Shock the Clock                                                                                                          
Common Mistakes Writers Make: Editing and Proofreading                                                
Firsts In Fiction: First Line Hooks, Hints & Help                                                      
Crashing Into Love - Where Personal Tragedies, Faith, & Love Collide                   
The Chamomile                                                                                                           
Out of the Frying Pan   (By the way, this does have 4.3 stars out of 5...so not only is it our story, but it's a good story...Just sayin.)                                                                                               
Searching for Sanity - Help for Moms from Moms of the Bible                                
Racin' Flat Out for Christ - Daily Devotions for NASCAR Fans                              
Why You Do What You Do - Your Personality is the Key  

And come back next week where I will share all the promised details in the first paragraph. Now. I have some serious cleanup to do! 

Monday, April 10, 2017

Decorative Quandary

I have a problem. You'll know what I mean if you keep reading. 

Conversation between me and Fern: 

Me: Fern, please let me make you an Easter bonnet?!?!?! Please. PLEASE!!!!!

Fern: Not if it was made of gold and diamond encrusted Benjamins, Zula. That means no!

Me: But you would look so beautiful in the elegant bonnet I have pictured in my mind. Please!

Fern:  Sigh. What about my first answer did you not understand, Zula? I am not Easter bonnet material. I do not want to parade around like a silly matron who thinks she looks good with a garden party on her head. 

Me: But, Fern, I almost died last year. This is my first Easter where I really feel like I can celebrate life fully after staring the Grim Reaper in the eye. I want you to celebrate with me. 

Fern: It was a flesh wound, Zula! You are going to annoy me every day with this request. Fine! If it will quiet you, make me a hat and if it's not ridiculous I'll wear it for 5 minutes. 

You see it?!? She gave her permission. She made a promise. 

But I don't know what to do to pull off a hat she won't hate. Should you need a visual. Mine is covered with red paper roses. I've been making them for 2 days and have broken a nail and burned my fingerprints off. I didn't just cover the hat with paper roses. Ooooh that's a goodie and oldie. Paper Roses. Hummm, hum, humity-hum. 

Anyhoo. I'm adding a ribbon/rose train. It is going to be magnificent. I've made a hundred roses and probably need to make a hundred more to make this the most epic Easter bonnet, ever!!! 

But what do I do for Fern?!? Part of me wants to make paper roses out of brown grocery bags but that's not going to fly. What she'd like would be as exciting as a paper plate and I just can't!