Tuesday, January 24, 2017

The Unfortunate Thing That Happened. Send Comforts, and Fifi, PLEASE!

I didn't plan of blogging tonight. I was going to soak my feet in Lavender Decadent Delight bath salts. 

But I'm stuck in the office above the "Scene of the MURDER." Yes! That office where other horrible things happened and we nearly!!!!!  Must not go there. 

I'm hiding here because Fern wants to dispatch me.At least that's what she shrieked at me as the door was slamming behind me.  

Why? Because the price of beauty is pain. Women know this. Don't we? You can't be beautiful without breaking a sweat or having attached items such as hairs ripped out of their little homes. Speaking of hair, which one of us didn't whimper when our mothers' wound those little curlers up so we could sleep on them and look like little Shirley Temple when we woke the next morning? Or at least the combing out the rats nests. Torture! This beauty lesson is instilled early on. 

You'd think Fern would have this one down. 

The other day I caught her in full on side illumination. And I noticed her eyebrows looked like wooly caterpillars. If you've never seen these they hang out in the Midwest and they predict the winter weather. Okay. Probably this is not true but "they say" that the more crazy haired those little fellas get the more likely we are to have a long winter. 

In Florida this does not matter. Unless they happen to reside over your sister-in-laws' eyes and you become obsessed with fixing this problem. Which I did. I pestered and nagged and cajoled Fern into letting me do her brows. I was relentless and it cost me. I have to remove three silk floral arrangements from the "shared" rooms and find locations for them in my bedroom. And I have to make three dessert recipes using her "tweaks" to make them healthier. And I got a solid pinch out of the deal, too. Right on the tender part of my side when the unthinkable happened. Of course I ran out of there as fast as my Valentino's could take me. 

Don't judge me. You would have done the same. I mean I had the wax and strips right there. The sun was streaming in giving me perfect visibility. Fern was distracted with the eyebrow letting session. How was I to know that I might pull off some skin with the teeny gal-statche? 

Now she's lopsided. A smudge of an oops on one side and a tiny little patch of silver on the other.   

I should have brought a sleeping bag. And Fifi. And my foot bath massager and my soaking solution. And maybe some candles and flowers. I think I might be here awhile! 

Also. Don't even judge me on the lack of a picture. I was fleeing for my life.  

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

This Just In

Another copy of "the book" has become available to win. It's true.

All you have to do is jump stage left to a Rafflecopter giveaway and cross your little fingers. 

Note: Please think long and hard about this. Our story is one of several the author is giving away. Don't accidentally pick one of her other titles. 

Honestly, ours is the best in the bunch. Normally, she writes about innocent little women thrust into dangerous, uncomfortable places and historical times with nothing but their wits and handsome, flawed men to save them. Oh, and God, He always shows up. I'm thinking wits and God are enough but that sure would be kind of a not so historical romance. Ha. Ha. And her male characters are kind of FABIO if you know what I mean, so I'd miss the whole hub-hubba experience. 

So if you pick one of her other books, I guess I'll just have to be okay. That means you'll just have to buy our story then. 

Baby needs a new pair of shoes. 

Monday, January 16, 2017

It's Coming! I Just FEEL It!

Bobbykins is this close to asking for my hand. It's written all over his face. Fern says that's indigestion because I keep feeding him too spicy food. I'm working toward building his tolerance to spice. And he appreciates it. 

Most of the time. 

How I know he's going to pop the question:

1) His eyes fill with tears sometimes when he looks at me. (No, again, it's not the spice, Fern. Nor is it an allergy to Fifi as you have so kindly pointed out. Or that he might be contemplating moving or any of the other reasons you keep ferrettng out.)

2) He has so many pet names for me. Sugar Lips. Sigh I love that one. Sweet Muffin. Cookie. Cuddle Bug. Sweetums. Oh, goodness. There are so many. And they melt my heart into a puddle of love pudding. Oh, Bobohunk, what a man! 

3) Future plans are being made. He asked me to go to the big truck show thingy in the spring. I'm soooooooooo excited!!!! I've already made little flag earrings with a scarf to match. Which I think they must use like in car races. Right? Don't tell me if I'm not because I don't want to change things up. I found checkered flag style leggings! And these stilettos. Queen of cuteness. I think it's possible the proposal will happen right there. I'm going to make a bracelet with little traffic signals with the stop lights all on green for Go! Go! Go! and Go! means YES! YES! YES! 

I'm thinking a fall wedding. Why wait? Right? At our age we shouldn't have a long engagement. Plus I scored some beautiful Zinnia and Mum blossoms in fall gold, scarlet and orange that are to die for on super clearance. 90% off. And gold ribbon that was in the Halloween clearance area that had copper pumpkins like little polka dots all over it. I'm picturing so many beautiful ideas. I'll sketch some up for you and share them once the BIG EVENT happens. 

Hmmmm. I might slip out to the hardware store in town. I heard they still have white Christmas lights there. For a song. And you know I've got some songs. Hahahahaaaaaa So tootles for now.