Note to "Those" Men from Fern

Warning! Registered weapons of mass destruction. 

This if Fern doing her due diligence with the blog. 

Zula has been pestering me for weeks but I've had nothing to say until right now. 

A certain man has recently caused me to come up with an excessive amount of words. Some have been posted in the dining hall as a warning to certain someones in the land of Paradise. But Paradise isn't the only location with snakes so I will share the boiled down version with you, Dear Readers. 

Never, elderly gentlemen of the world, is it okay to touch a woman without her permission. Nor is it okay to proposition or hint about certain subjects with a woman who has asked you to stop. 

Now this should be common sense. Would you go up to a nicely dressed business man or friendly waiter or burly bouncer type and squeeze his cheeks or chuck his chin and tell him he's much more handsome when he smiles? Hmmm that seems like it might net you a throat punch. Can I mention that  I am at the defcon throat punch level with you, Sir. Chuck my chin or squeeze my cheeks again and you will have a whole lot of hurt coming fast and furious. 

If I have not responded to your lame attempts at flirting chances are very, very high that I am not on any level attracted to you. So please, for the love of everything good and sweet, please, please, please stop with your cheesy pick-up lines. "Hey, did you leave a banana peel on the floor, cuz I've fallen hard for you." (In a retirement village? Are broken hips cute?) "If you were a painting you'd be a Rembrandt." (You know Rembrandt's work, or did you just pick the artist's name you've heard more than once?) 

Have these worked before? If so, go back to where you used them because they aren't flying here. And if you ever volunteer to model nude for one of my paintings again I will not be responsible for the things I might say or do. 

Fern out. 

It's So Quiet, For Now....

Now that the whole murder fluff and stuff has died down, and our story is out and plugging along it feels kind of quiet around here. 

The writers still have a book giveaway going on. The linkie dowickie clicky thing for it is here.  http://ow.ly/lY2h304L7rQ

Comments are coming in. One person bought it and gave it to a friend who's husband is reading it to her while she has chemo. That feels real good to know that our story of overcoming and solving a murder might be making someone else feel a little better during a hard time. 

Did I share our giveaway baskets we put together for our big book signing event? I curated some jewelry and a scarf and shared a favorite product. Nutella. I could just eat that right out of the jar with a spoon. I'm a little jealous that someone created a recipe book, that shoulda woulda coulda been me! 

That gives me an idea....I'll be back. Hang on you little darling jar of chocolate heaven, Mama's coming!